Jumping At Ghosts

Jumping at Ghosts is an album made possible by the generosity of my late friend Julie. Most of the songs were written at the beginning of 2023 while doing I Heart Songwriting Club. There was originally no plan to record a whole album, before being given this wonderful opportunity.

I have an irrational fear of writing the same song and am always looking for something different. This need for variety definitely influenced my approach. The song themes are varied - learning to be present, feeling your feelings, holding onto hope that things will improve, celebrating the good things and questioning unhelpful beliefs. They touch on love, grief and mental health.

The instrumentation was mostly unplanned beyond one key instrument; the sound emerged through experimentation. The references I brought to the band ranged from folk, americana, soul, piano ballads and blues.  I would love to say I went into this process with a vision and executed on it, but the truth is I let my ears guide me and was open to hearing what these amazing musicians would bring. Part of me worried that’s some kind of failing, like I should have had it together. But now I understand that I hold onto my songs lightly. The real joy is in letting things unfold, and when other people become part of the story.

Over the 2 and half years that I’ve been working on these songs, they have made their truth known to me. They were born from a place in my subconscious and in understanding them, they have helped me become a better person. How I feel about my songs, my voice, myself, has been transformed through recording this album.

While I still miss Julie and I think I’d give it all back if she could be here with me, this album feels like the most important thing I have ever done and I’m grateful every day that I got to do it.

Brand New was written about a time when I was breaking up with my partner of 3 years, while living in London. I wrote two lines in a poem back in 2012, which came back to me while writing this song, forming part of the chorus. The overall message is one of hope, because while today may be difficult, tomorrow may bring with it new opportunities for healing and starting again.

Know Nothing is a song about questioning what we can trust and accepting that there’s no perfect answer, no one right way through life. It’s about realising we’re all in the same boat, doing our best and at some point you’ve just got to take a chance. There’s comfort in admitting you don’t know everything, because it’s impossible to know all there is to know in this world, and that’s okay.

Green and Blue was written during a trip to Byron Bay when I was still grieving Julie who had passed away a few months before. While working on this album, I feel like it was trying to teach me something about being in the present moment, not rushing to the end and allowing the process to unfold. Those surfers in the chorus were content to just wait for the next wave, soaking up the sun and the sea, for however long it took.

Look is a song I wrote about my husband, who doesn’t get mentioned much in my songs. Our relationship was different to others I’d had, it was a slow build which lead to a deeper connection. We never argue and we can talk about anything. I started to think that maybe this was how it was always meant to be, how love was meant to look.

My Time. Sometimes in life we are in a holding pattern, waiting for the next thing (job, person, opportunity) to happen. My Time is about being positive and hopeful while going through even the most monotonous days, because change will come and when it does, it’s going to be great!

Invisible was written from the point of view of a no longer worn pair of shoes as if they were a spurned lover, Invisible is a playful song that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The duality of the language is something that I enjoy with references to feet and footwear woven through the song. I also got to work with a harmonica player and work on use some random items in the studio for percussion.

Unwanted Friends is a song I wrote about having OCD before I was diagnosed. The unwanted friends (or unwanted thoughts) are like uninvited house guests that you can’t get to leave. While working on this album, I learned so much about myself and was able to change the way I view my thoughts - I now have strategies for dealing with them.

Tears Still Flow. The idea from this song came from realising that when it comes to grief, there is no advice that really helps. Sometimes we just need someone to listen. Grief is a strange beast and the only way is through, dealing with it as it comes. The worst part was probably when I realised the only person I wanted to talk to about my feelings was the one person I’d never get to talk to again.

Free. The song prompt was ‘Kitchen Table’, which made me think about my youth and times in my life when I felt free. With the pace of life, most of us are too busy to slow down and be present. ‘Free’ is about celebrating the freedom to choose, to be yourself, to live the life you want and remembering to take a deep breath every once in a while.

Pale Imitation. Imagine if you found a photograph of your doppelganger. Would you wonder what their life is like? What questions would you have? ‘Pale Imitation’ explores the pitfalls of comparison and feeling not quite good enough, made worse by social media content curation.

What Do You Really Need? In striving to move beyond my perfectionism and to get away from the evils of capitalism and hustle culture, I started to think about what I really needed to be content in life. Happiness is distinct from contentment, as the latter is more a sustainable and can be achieved if you set the bar to entry at a lower level. For me, I’ve realised that I can be happy with a lot less than I thought I could. The band did not want to stop playing, which is why it’s over 6 minutes.